Body Languages: When To Use Or Avoid

There is an appropriate timing and place for every act of body language.  Most of the time, we are oblivious to the messages we convey through our body gestures and movements. We could give negative signals that might offend other people without intending to do so. There are gestures that we indeed have to avoid, but it may require discipline and practice for the very reason that we may have been used to performing this negative acts in our daily lives.

It is very important for one to be observant of his body language, and those of other people as well. You can read other people by learning how to understand how they act and move. But you must also be aware that there are people who know how to interpret body language, and somebody may already be reading you now. Thus, be cautious of actions by knowing when to use them and what to avoid.

At Work

It is always relevant to be in your best self at work. By doing so, you can impress your boss and please clients. Simply be confident when facing somebody. If you are relaxed, other people would not regard you as overconfident. Show them you truly know what you are talking about by maintaining good posture, eye contact and using appropriate hand gestures.

During A Date

How can you give signs that you are indeed attracted to another person without telling them verbally how you really feel? The solution is simple. Talk with your eyes and match it with a bright smile. These two are enough to let somebody know you are indeed enjoying his or her company.

You would know that the date is going well when signals of flirtation are present. A woman would tend to touch her hair, lick her lips, eat or drink slowly, and preen. Meanwhile, a man would usually wink, close the distance between them, lean forward, and stand tall. Bottom line is both sexes want to impress their partner by showing the masculinity or sexiness through actions. And these signs are indeed just the beginning of a higher level in the relationship.

Acts You Must Practice To Avoid

There are many kinds of gestures that you must practice to avoid. At work, try to hide your anxiety or tension by avoiding fidgeting, trembling, or shaking. Avoid excessive hand movements when talking, since this could distract others from focusing on your statements. Avoid also excessive blinking; this shows you are are uneasy and nervous. Stop looking at your watch or the clock. This is very rude since you are giving an impression that you want to end the interaction right away.  Do not stroke you chin, lean on an elbow, and fake a smile.

When on a date, it would be much more polite if you directly say “no” rather than showing signals of rudeness to the person if you are uninterested or getting bored. Do not sigh, look at other people other than your partner, slouch, and prop your head on your hands.

Observe Cultural Differences

The appropriate use of body language also depend on where you are and who you are interacting with. You may be talking to somebody with a very conservative culture and regards some gestures rude and disrespectful, even if they are normally used in your place.

Body Language From Head To Foot

It is very essential to have the ability to read and understand another person's body language. Listening only to the words the other person is saying is not always enough. His or her body language can always tell if that person is being honest in what she is saying and what she really feels deep inside.

Body language entails the gestures and movements involving the body, from head to foot. Each signal of body language may have different meanings, depending on the situation in which it was delivered.

Head

You can signal yes or no by the movement of the head. Nodding usually means “yes” or “I agree”. But in other countries such as Yugoslavia and Turkey, it sometimes means “no”.

Tilting the head backwards or to the side indicates that the person is thinking deeply or considering a though or idea.

Face (Eyes, Nose, Lips)

Facial expressions are obvious visible signs of how someone truly feels, however there are some people who have practiced to take control of their facial expressions by making them somewhat expressionless or passive.

Even with an inexpressive face, nobody could miss what is being expressed through the eyes. The eyes can speak volumes given any circumstance. Eye contact is a strong indication of focus of attention, interest, attraction, and honesty. You can spot somebody lying to you if he or she cannot hold an eye contact for a period of time. When the eyes would look away, it signifies lack of interest, dishonesty, and boredom.  But there are times when looking away signifies attraction or simply an occurrence of a slight distraction, for as long as the person will look back to the person he is talking to.

Touching or rubbing the nose is one of the most common self-touching gestures, which is usually done by people who are lying or trying to hide something. Blowing of the nose is a gesture seen as rude by most countries, but it is considered as healthy in some countries in Asia.

Licking or biting the lips is one of the typical signals of flirting done by women. Kissing is a gesture to show one's affection, and also used as a form of greeting. But there are conservative countries, particularly in Asia, which do not allow public display of affection such as kissing.  And in some cultures like in the Philippines and  Puerto Rico, the lips are used for pointing instead of the finger.

Arms And Hands

There are plenty different hand gestures, and each one has different meanings. The most common hand gestures are hands-in-the-pocket, arms crossed over the chest, hands on the waist, and handshakes. The first one may indicate nervousness or lack of interest. Crossing the arms signifies a defensive posture, and it may also mean doubt or suspicion of what the other person is saying. The hands on the waist may indicate anger or fury, but men also do this to show their masculinity. A handshake, meanwhile, is a form of greeting in most countries.

Legs And Feet

Crossing the legs are done by most people, especially women. Most of the time, it is done as a comfortable position. However, there are countries that regard this action as rude.

The Misuse Of The Ability

The ability of reading someone's body gestures sometimes is not reliable. The gestures performed by a person that are regarded as rude by other people maybe just habits of that person without the intention of being rude.

Body Language At Work

You can always use body language as a key to success in your work. You could give a good impression, convince clients, and please your boss. In communication, only 7% are the words and rest of the 93% is accounted for the nonverbal cues, which includes the aspects of speech and body language. 

Appropriate Body Language During An Interview, Meeting Or Presentation

A job interview is usually nerve-wracking. But in order not to be included in the list of rejected applicants, you have to impress your interviewer by being confident. Here are the gestures and body movements you must observe during a job interview.

A firm handshake indicates confidence. Relax on the chair provided for you, but do not slouch. Slouching reflects laziness. Keep your heap up, and lean slightly forward. Place your hands on your lap, and never in your pocket. The hands-in-pocket gesture signifies nervousness, boredom, and dishonesty. As much as possible, do not cross your legs. But if crossing your legs would help calm your nerves, you may do so but point your body towards the direction of the interviewer. During the conversation, make sure you maintain eye contact to show your interest and eagerness to listen.

Art of Animation

Make use of your hands to punctuate or emphasize what you are saying. You will appear stiff if your hands will stay on your lap during the entire period of the interview. Hand gestures also signifies that you are honest and indeed knowledgeable of what you are talking about. You can do this while sitting or standing. During a presentation, move around, but walk slowly. The greatest presenters are those who can speak confidently with the right timing of body movements and gestures.

Gestures And Movements To Avoid

The wrong gestures, done consciously or unconsciously, could give the wrong impression to your boss, co-workers, and clients. These may be the reason of you getting fired. Therefore, you must avoid the following acts of body language.

Avoid pointing a finger at somebody, especially your boss. Even when you are angry or trying to emphasize a detail, it is regarded as a rude gesture. In meetings, refrain from showing signs of boredom and lack of interest. These signs include arms crossed over the chest, eyes on objects other than the person talking or the presentation itself, yawning, signing, drumming the fingers on the table, or tapping your foot.

Signs That You Are Not Doing A Good Job

If you are the presenter in a meeting or an applicant in a job interview, you must observe the body language of your audience as well. Reading their actions and movements could aid you to be aware of their reactions and if you are doing well.

You would detect if the other party is getting bored if their focus of attention is not on you. This is evident by the absence of eye contact. Observe their hands as well. Even if their eyes are on you, but if their hand are busy, it may mean they are thinking of something else. See if their fingers are playing with their pen or drumming on the surface of the table. Boredom is also indicated when the person in front of you begin to slouch back into their chair.

Signs of opposition to your ideas and opinions are also determined when the other party crosses their arms, wrinkle their forehead, and tilt their head.

However, the signs above sometimes do not reflect how someone really feels. What is important is that you know how to prepare yourself in critical times at the workplace.

Expressions Through Body Language

Most of the time, words are not enough to express how someone really feels. And sometimes, what we say are not really what we intend to convey. This is where nonverbal communication gains its importance in the interaction of two or more people.

Body language, a form of nonverbal communication, is the conscious and unconscious use of gestures and body movements to send messages, moods, feelings, and state of mind. You can easily identify one's emotions if you know how to read and interpret his or her actions.

Anger

This emotion is probably the easiest to identify from one person. Aside from the increasing of the voice volume, facial movements could identify anger or fury. It could be identified by one hard, intense look on the source of his anger or when the eyebrows would meet at the center slightly above the bridge of the nose. Other facial body language involved in this emotion include nasal flaring, teeth baring, snarling, flushing of the face, shallow breathing, and tightening of the lips and jaw.

A person with a clenched fist, perspiration, his hands on the waist, or arms crossed across the chest are signs of anger as well.

Nervousness, Tension, And Anxiety

The most common signs of these emotions are dry mouth, pale face, trembling of the lips and fingers, and perspiration. A nervous or anxious person would tend to move a lot to remove the tension off his body, thus he would fidget, rock or tap his feet, drum his fingers on a surface, or pace around the room back and forth. Lack of eye contact or the inability to hold prolonged eye contact is also an indication of these emotions.

Fear and Defensive State

Trembling, perspiration, and a pale face could also be seen in fear. The skin will be cold and clammy, the voice will tremble, muscle tension, and the body will have a defensive posture when threatened. A defensive posture includes the raising of the hands, crossing of arms or regressing to the fetal position. The person will also try to make a distance from the source of his fear or danger.

Flirting And Attraction

Flirting body language is quite complicated since women and men have different ways of showing it. But the signs that the two genders have in common in showing attraction include prolonged eye contact, smiling, raising of eyebrows, preening, adjusting or touching of clothes, looking at the lips of the other person, leaning towards the person, and closing the distance.

Interest And Focus Of Attention

Eye contact is the most indicative sign of interest and attention. Leaning forward to the person and nodding are reinforcements that you are indeed listening to him or her. When the eye would wander to another object, it means that the person may be bored or his attention was distracted.

Confidence

Confidence is evident in a firm handshake, good posture, calm muscles, and comfortable use of hand gestures when conversing. When sitting down, a relaxed position is indicative of confidence as well. Sitting on the edge of the chair with tense back muscle would mean otherwise – tension or nervousness.

Body language has a way of telling us how a person really feels, but the meanings and indications are not reliable and true at all times. Basically, the gestures stated above are the general body movements commonly used by most people in the same situations and emotions.

Body Language In The Culture Of Asian Countries

Research on body language usually just entail the general meanings and indications of the most common gestures and body movements that most people us in their daily lives. However, these signals of communication may mean differently in other countries and cultures. These are cultures that use a certain gesture as a positive sign, but there are other cultures, specially in Asian countries, that may see it as a rude act.

This article would discuss the accepted gestures of touch, forms of greeting, and signals of summoning in different Asian countries, specifically China, Japan, Korea, and Philippines.

China

China is one of the most conservative countries in Asia, thus touching is rare. You can rarely see public display of affection. Holding hands is alright, but only as a sign of friendship. Chinese have small personal spaces, thus unintended slight bumping or shoving does not need an apology.

Chinese usually greet themselves with a bow or nod of the head. Handshakes are also being used. They rarely use hugging or kissing during greeting. Greeting cards are also exchanged, but it must be handed with both hands. In terms of beckoning or summoning, they face their palms downwards and move the fingers back and forth. They believe that summoning with the palms facing upwards is rude and is only used to animals.

Posture is also very important in China. One must not slouch or put feet on stools or tables. They also try to prevent saying “no” to other people. They simply simply opposition by tilting the head back and sucking in air loudly through the teeth.

Japan

Japan, just like China, is not a touch-oriented country. Thus avoid public display of affection, especially prolonged touching. Japan is famous for their graceful bows as a form of greeting. Handshakes are also accepted, but bowing is a better sign of showing respect to another person.

The lower and longer the bow, the stringer you are showing respect, humility, or gratitude. H In greeting Japanese people, avoid kissing, hugging, or staring at them. Prolonged eye contact can be intimidating for them, thus they consider it as rude, as well as putting your hands in front of the pocket when greeting.

Summoning gestures in Japan are similar with that of China – palm facing down. Acts of body language that one must avoid in the public in Japan is spitting or blowing of the nose, opening the mouth, such as in yawning and laughing.

Korea

Bowing is the traditional way of greeting and departing in Korea. For men, they usually shake hands, bu for women, they just give a slight nod of the head. Korea is a conservative country, thus hugging and kissing is not acceptable when done in public. They beckon people with the palm facing downwards as well. They also rise when an elder person enters the room as a sign of respect.  Knocking before entering and good posture is important as well in Korea.

Philippines

Unlike in other countries in Asia, Philippines is a touch-oriented country. Public display of affection is accepted, but with minimal limit as a consideration. When greeting, they do handshakes or simply raise their eyebrows quickly. In beckoning a specific object, Filipinos tend to point it with their mouth. Respect to the elderly is always shown, usually by placing their forehead onto the back of the hand of the elderly.

When interacting with Asian people or visiting the said countries, it is essential for you to be sensitive to their culture and acceptable body language. You may think that what you are doing is all right since it is accepted in your country, but Asian people may think you are being rude.

Body Language: Signs Of Falling In Love

How can you tell that a person is already falling in love with you? A person's body language can spell out his or her true feelings and intentions for you. A person in love has that certain glow every time he or she is with that special person, but what are the other signs?

You will notice that a person is already falling for you if he can't stand being far from you, gives more smiles and laughter, mirror your actions, cannot keep his eyes off you, and have that certain glow.

Personal Space And Distance

A person in love with you would look for several ways just to be closer to you. You will know that a person's personal space has gotten smaller when he or she gets comfortable with you even in the slightest distance. And notice if in a room full of people, he will always try to stay close to you.

That person would also tend to lean his body towards you, whether when sitting down or standing up. The direction of his or her body would be always turned towards you. If not, then the direction of her eyes will show who is in her mind.

More Touch, Smiles, And Laughter

A person who is starting to fall for you would listen to you more, thus would give more reactions than he or she did during your first dates. There would be more laughter even for the cheesiest jokes. While talking, one will find in inevitable from smiling, especially during silence. This is because that person is truly enjoying his or her time with you.

He or she would also touch you from time to time. A tap on the shoulder, placing the hand on the small of the back, hugging, and holding the hands are some of the most common touching body language in falling in love.

The Mirroring Actions

This is a funny yet very sweet signal of attraction since it is done unconsciously most of the time. This is where a person would imitate the actions of that special person. For example, you will prop your chin onto your hand, the person in love with you will follow that specific action.

The Longer Stare

A person in love with you simply cannot take his eyes off you. Most especially when the feeling has just begun to develop, he or she would find difficulty in concentrating on other things. The stare is usually intimate or intense, and it is accompanied with a slight smile.

That Certain Glow

Somehow unexplainable, a person has a certain aura around him or her when he or she is in love and happy. It is due to the extreme happiness and joy coming from the inside, and this is well-reflected with a sparkle in the eyes and a smile that is hard to remove from the face.

When a person falls in love, it changes him entirely and this is reflected in his or her body language. Some people fail to notice this, but these signs are definitely there. The person himself is even unaware that he is already providing hints and clues about his true feelings for that special someone. Most people find them hard to miss, and would love these signals of deep attraction sent through the silence but delivered by simple romantic actions and gestures.

Acts Of Body Language That Should Be Avoided

Body language is one of the strongest means of communicating one's feelings, moods, attitude, and personality. In fact more than 60% of the communication process comes from the nonverbal cues which includes the body movements and speech volume, pitch, and pacing.

However, there are body gestures and movements generally considered as inappropriate and rude. A proper body language has a right place and a right time. Most of us are usually unaware of our actions. Thus, it is time to practice learning the acts of body language that must be observed and avoiding the actions which may be offensive to other people.

During A Job Interview

A job interview is a very important step to be accomplished by any applicant. They key to success to be hired for the vacant job does not only depend on the documents you passed. Your employer would also give high regards for the way you move and act. Thus, it is essential for any applicant to observe his body language when being interviewed.

One must avoid slouching, which indicates laziness and boredom. Do not tighten your body muscle as well, for this will make you look stiff thus making you look nervous and lacking confidence. Do not place your hands into your pockets as well; this reflects your anxiety and discomfort. Lack of confidence is very well reflected in tapping of the foot, drumming of the fingers, and fidgeting.

If You Want To Show Interest

Signs of interest includes eye contact, and one must be able to maintain it. It signifies that the focus of your attention is on that person. Frequent nodding and leaning your body towards that person also indicates that you are listening to him or her.

Generally Rude Body Language

There are many gestures that are regarded as rude by most people, or that you are avoiding to interact with them. This includes crossing the arms across the chest, holding objects such as books and a bag in front of you, inspecting the time on your watch or the clock, stroking your chin, standing too close, staring or narrowing your eyes, forcing smiles, placing the hand on the waist, slouching, touching your face frequently, blinking more than usual, foot tapping, and many more. Most of these gestures are done unconsciously, but nonetheless, the people who you are talking to may be offended by the said actions.

Posture And Body Movements

One who maintains a good posture is one who relaxes into the chair provided for him, yet his back remains straight with his chin slightly held up and shoulder pulled back. Confidence is also shown in eye contact and in a firm handshake. A poor posture is shown by slouching; it usually means laziness or lack of interest.

If you have a posture that shows confidence, people will treat you differently. They will treat you with more respect.

Be Conscious Of Your Actions

Be aware of how your body move or act. You might be already sending signals of rudeness even during the moments you do not intend to do so. Make sure you maintain a good posture and perform the proper gestures appropriate for the place and time. You might also as well consider the cultural background of the person you are talking to, and adjust to their acceptable behavior and body language.